Thursday, January 13, 2011

Where has time gone?!

Recently it has occurred to me that so much time has gone by. Since forever. My dad is FIFTY. There are pictures of him dated from the '60s. That's just crazy. I'm 20. TWENTY. My mother had her first kid at 22. There is no way. Then, my brother is stinking 26! He lives on his own in Destin, Florida. Jon is freaking almost 23! I still think of him as my brother that watched me after school and practiced sports with me in the yard. Now they're both grown!


Anyway, I was thinking back to three years ago. Can you remember what you were doing today three years ago? That's just crazy to think about. It took me a while to figure it out, too.

Anyway, that's why I chose this picture for today. It was taken by my friend who lives in Windsor, Ontario right across the water from Detroit. This picture was taken about three years ago right after we met.

Honestly, the picture has nothing to do with the post other than its date. My point today is that time goes by so quickly. Three years ago I was in high school. I thought my life was awful, things were so hard, I hated school, blah blah blah. Now I look back and see it as nothing. Just a mile stone that I am happy to have accomplished.

My mom keeps making fun of me for repeating, "holy cow, dad is FIFTY" over and over, but I just haven't registered it yet. So much wisdom and history has taken place in that time. Even the past 20 years have been full of love, hate, war, and deaths. We live history each day, so we should make the best of it.

I want to look back on when I was 20 and be happy of what I've accomplished. I want to really notice a change in my life. I want to be better than I am today. And I want you all to join me on this journey.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

If you're in love, giving up is not an option.

So, today I've been thinking a lot about the future. Assuming I will even be blessed with having one. Anyway, my mind was racing with what I want to do, where I want to go, and all that. (don't think I'm counting God out of the equation, but you all know what I mean.)

Anyway, I realized how much better living is when you live for what you love. There are a lot of things that I need to accomplish before I can live my dream. I'm not talking years, but a couple months. But my view has changed. I do not look at working out as a sacrifice, it is simply what I need to do in order to get where I need to go.

No one cares about my diet story, so we will work with a different angle: school. I do not really enjoy going to classes, nor do I enjoy studying or research. However, school is simply something that needs to get done. It is not a speed bump in my life, but rather the new car I'm in. It is still getting me to my destination, but it never promised to get me there without trials and tests.

Simply, my realization is this: if you're truly doing what you love (or on your way to do it), then giving up is never even considered. I will do WHATEVER it takes and I will accept everything I am given in order to better myself.

I am confident that I will better myself and not let my worries about life get in the way. I don't have a boyfriend. Yeah, so what? I have a God that will never leave me, a plan that requires hard work, and school that consumes my life. I am happy with my life and grateful for all those who are on this ride with me.

Never give up; never surrender. (sorry, you just can't kill my inner nerd.)

Godspeed, everyone! ;)

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Look Through the Fog

[Note: Ironically, the photos in this post have been removed. It seems Blogger removed them after some years had gone by, and I have not been able to relocate them.]

I'm a firm believer in putting pictures with my posts. (hehe and alliterations) Maybe it's because I'm a photographer and maybe it's  because I just think the phrase "a picture says a thousand words" is one of the most truthful things anyone told me as a child. Not to say that you could find a thousand adjectives to describe this, because that would just be silly. It means that there are easily a thousand words that can be written about this. Here is my short version:

This past weekend, my mother and I drove 8 hours in the pouring rain to get to Florida. While driving we missed our turn, slid a few times, and had to go incredibly slowly on the highway. If there had been clear skies, none of that would have happened. Therefore, the cause of our problems is the rain.

That solved, I refer back to the picture. The raindrops coming from the roof are in focus. Everything else is not. This is how I think I've started to view my life. I do not see what's beyond what I stress over. I can so easily focus on what I lack. I want what I want and I want it now. Life is not supposed to be like that. I am not like that. Selfish people annoy me, yet I am selfish about my own life. If I can't have love, then no one should. If I can't get a career, then everyone should suffer. What?! Who thinks like that?! How does that even make sense?!?!

However, I have learned to look through the fog that I've created. I can see beyond right now. I can see next month. Next year. True, I may die tomorrow, but at least I'll die knowing that I was striving toward something important. There are so many goals and plans that I have and when my head is clouded with unimportant, fickle things, then I am unable to remind myself that each day is a blessing that I should live up to its fullest. The Lord has shown me how I need to broaden my mind.

I have two New Year's resolutions, if you will. Rather, I have two things I would like to improve about my life. One of which you all don't need to know. But the other is to try my best to put others before myself. And to do this with a joyful heart. I want to radiate happiness more than ever.

I want to show the world my God.

I want to show the world Love.